


Unexpected Attentions

by aislingyngaio



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Crack, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-21
Updated: 2013-11-21
Packaged: 2018-01-02 03:50:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 942
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1052185
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aislingyngaio/pseuds/aislingyngaio
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Of course Agent Jasper Sitwell would remember the pretty young English Agent who shot him with a dendrotoxin the last time she was at the Hub.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Unexpected Attentions

**Author's Note:**

> Seriously, who can resist [this](http://aislingyngaio.tumblr.com/post/67261548543)?

In Skye’s opinion, it was entirely Coulson’s fault. Of course, that opinion was only capable of being formed once they were all back on the Bus, flying at a very safe distance away from the Hub.

The Hub was a big place, right?

Big enough to get lost in, right?

Big enough to need directory lists every 100 meters right? (OK, she didn’t actually measure but one gets the point)

Big enough to never meet the same agents accidentally twice, right???

What was the point of this panic attack? The point of all this was: why couldn’t Coulson have informed them that they were being met by Jasper freaking Sitwell _again_? Was he like Coulson’s Hub contact or something? Why did it have to be him?

More importantly, why did SHIELD agents have such long memories?

Skye could only wince while Fitzsimmons tried calming down from their hyperventilation from across the lab. At least she hadn’t been the one to bear the brunt of the attack. Poor Simmons, whose face turned as red as a tomato the moment Agent Sitwell came in sight, hadn't yet exhausted her supply of nervous energy as she paced around the lab, being followed around by her "You're not serious about this, are you?" yelling partner, and generally still not yet over Sitwell's sudden appearance (Skye would swear that ninja training was a standard SHIELD agent course if she hadn’t seen Simmons’ epic fail moment during their first Hub visit. Shame on her really for assuming that all SHIELD agents knew how to not crack under pressure).

To the credit of her survival skills, Simmons did try to hide from Agent Sitwell behind Fitz, likely praying that the Level 8 agent hadn’t noticed her before that. Skye, on the other hand, hid conspicuously behind her S.O. (Agent Coulson wasn’t tall enough for her purposes), knowing that anyone who knew of Coulson’s team would realise with whom Simmons had been collaborating when she blew her cover by comm-ing with her.

And then, when Coulson had exchanged pleasantries with Sitwell and was sent on his way with May (to where, Skye wasn’t sure), Sitwell addressed the rest of the group as if they were familiar with each other, before they too had the chance to escape. “Well, well, so you boys managed to escape after all. Congratulations.” He shook hands with Ward, who remained oblivious to the interplay, and Fitz, who turned an interesting shade of puce and garbled out some weird response, with Simmons still clutching the back of his sweater like her life depended on it. Skye didn’t know whether to laugh at the absurdity of this scene or dread the moment Sitwell noticed her behind Ward’s tall back.

Luckily, Sitwell had his focus on a different person. “I assume then, Agent Simmons, that these were the reasons I was shot at point blank range in the chest?”

Simmons, at this direct question, forced herself to step out of Fitz’s shadow. Skye was sure Ward’s jaw would be dropped at this point, but she didn’t really dare peek out to check. She saw Fitzsimmons’ absolutely panicked faces however, which drove up her sense of trepidation.

“S- Sir, Mr. Agent S-Sitwell, sir,” Simmons managed to squeak out, trying to look anywhere but at Sitwell. Skye could’ve smacked her for almost repeating her first greeting to the older Agent when they’d previously met under… abnormal circumstances. Oh, did Simmons need a crash course in facing this disaster-in-the-making. “W-Well sir, it is all… um… a temporary…I’m err… glad you’re feeling better, sir.”

Agent Sitwell, that smug bastard, raised an eyebrow. “I hope, Agent Simmons,” he said sternly, “that it will be the last time I ever get a bullet in the chest for trying to enforce the rules of this organisation, or I will be forced to submit an incident report the next time it happens, Coulson or no Coulson.” Simmons nodded her head vigorously, only too glad that she wasn’t going to be court-marshaled belatedly for the misfortune of running into her victim again.

“That being said,” suddenly Agent Sitwell positively _grinned_ , causing the group to collectively shiver at the maniacal glint in his eyes. They further tensed when Sitwell reached into his jacket, but all he pulled out was… a card, which he handed to Simmons. “If you really are interested in men with a beautiful head who are about your height but heavier than you…” He left the sentence hanging, eying her meaningfully until Simmons’ eyes popped. Fitz was, Skye noted, staring slack-jawed at the card in Simmons' hand as he would a poisonous snake. She herself was completely boggled by the bizarre twist in the conversation/interrogation/threat. Did he actually just...?

Nobody moved for a full fifteen seconds. The tension was so thick it could be cut with a knife.

Then Sitwell just turned and left the scene.

Simmons didn’t start choking until Fitz started spluttering about the whole affair, while Skye finally deemed it safe to come out from her hiding spot in time to see an entirely surprised and revolted Ward looking as if he’d just been transported to another realm, and not in a good way. Then Simmons, hotly pursued by a completely flailing and loudly complaining Fitz, abandoned their plans of visiting Sci-Ops while awaiting for Coulson and May’s return, and almost ran back to the safety of the hanger bay. Skye looked back at the still shell-shocked Ward and mumbled, “I’ll just… you know… go too. Find some brain bleach… Forget that whole thing ever happened.”

Ward was, for once, only too happy to follow her lead.

_\- Finis -_


End file.
